How Do I Get My Dog To Respect Me And Obey Me Without Being Mean?
Filed under Care & Training Q&As
I have 2 dogs. One is a female toy poodle who is very well behaved, is potty trained, and is obedient and very sweet. Her name is Buttercup. My other dog is a male cockapoo who is kinda grumpy, growls a lot, doesn’t like to obey, and pees in the house lots. His name is Wesley. I want to know how to get Wesley to obey and respect me. It would also help if I could get him to stop peeing in the house. Both dogs have not been spayed or neutered.
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Start with the spay/neuter, and ask your vet for a recommendation for a behaviorist for after they’ve recovered from surgery.
You didn’t say how old Grumpy is, I mean, Wesley. You didn’t say how long you’ve had him, how long this has been going on, when did this start, where he came from, did the same thing happen at the previous home, does he do it for spite (like you left him at home and maybe he wanted to go with you). What do you do after the fact?
I have never had to mean to any of my dogs to get their respect, and neither do you….thank you for caring enough to not want to.
I would have to say that being consistent all that you do with them, and always being patient and loving will go a long way. Training is a MUST…and a good time for them to learn to respect you.
You might want to start with some serious potty training for Mr. Wesley. And some simple things like sit and stay. We started training our puppy ( a male Puggle) as soon as we got him at 8 weeks old. We treat him just like we treat our kids….lots of love and playing, but they definitely know who’s boss.
Here is some potty training ideas that work great with puppies. Maybe if you modify the time lenghts it will work for your guy.
Set a timer to remind you to take your puppy out every 30 minutes. Take him to the spot you want him to potty and wait patiently until he does. Once he seems to be doing good with that, then set the timer for 45 minutes, and so on and so on. Work at getting it to 2 hours and up. Always take him to his potty spot. If he poops in the wrong place (house, or where ever) pick up the poop and put it where you want him to go and show him nicely so he will get the idea.
Also, take him out every time he wakes up, about 15-30 minutes after eating, and after hard play.
Never tell him NO when he potties in the wrong place because you will confuse him. He will think that the act of going potty is bad, not where he is going potty. And never stick his nose in it. You don’t want to scare him or make him angry with you.
Use positive reinforcement EVERY TIME. Tell him something like “good potty” when he gets it right.
Remember, he is a baby. Be patient and consistent. It takes a while to develop bladder control, but give him time and it will happen.
Good reading would be “Training Your Puppy” magazine type book by the editors of Dog Fancy magazine, and “House-Training” also by the editors of Dog Fancy.
Good luck
I would start with a visit to your vet for a good physical for Wesley: if any of his grumpy, growly, and peeing behavior is due to illness, no training can help till the illness is treated. So ask your vet to make sure there is no problem (and while you’re there, talk to the vet about spaying and neutering your dogs – there are plenty of dogs that need homes in the world, there is no need to let a dog with a temperament problem breed! )
While you’re browsing the web, go visit a great website about dog training – http://www.dogstardaily.com – and look for the articles on house training and on using rewards to train basic behaviors. Rewards could be food treats, toys, games or attention. (I teach dog obedience, and I’ve seen many dogs respond well to gentle reward based training.)
You can also find great advice on behavior and training from the ASPCA – their web site has a big section of well researched articles about behavior problems. Start here: http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/dog-care/
You should also seriously consider finding a private trainer or a group class to take your dog to. One of the best places to start the hunt for a good positive trainer is to use the trainer search at the Association of Pet Dog Trainers web page, http://www.apdt.com.
It has nothing to do with being mean you have to train y our dog and when you have a female and a male which are entire the male will mark his territory in other words pee in the house which is a gross habit and should be stopped straight away.
You can resort to a water spray bottle when you catch him doing this or yell blue murder and turf him outside as a punishment or put him in his crate as a punishment.There are all sorts of ways to train and l know everyone will say spay and neuter and if you do not you will end up with a pregnant female in the future,that is up to you but if you neuter the male especially you will find his behaviour will change for the better although if he has been peeing in the house since a baby you have a long road ahead of you.
You cannot let a dog or pair of dogs rule you and that is what he is doing he is saying to you l can do what l want to do and indicating he is more dominant than you and by you saying you do not want to be mean indicates a soft personality and when it comes to training you do not have to hit a dog or anything like that you have to lay down the house rules and stop any bad behaviour when it first starts.
At present Wesley does not respect you and you know that and you have to change that so makes sure he goes out every m orning when you get up to do his wee and stay with him and do the same during the day and praise him when he does the right thing and yell like mad and punish him in your own way when he does something wrong.
Personally l would hate to be cleaning your house if he is doing this but do consider the neutering but that is YOUR choice and not ours.
Good luck