Should I Keep This Dog? She Has So Many Issues!?
October 5, 2009 by admin
Filed under Care & Training Q&As
We rescued a dog over 3 weeks ago from a shelter. Not much was known about her. Shes 3, probably a cockapoo and was either a stray or neglected but probably did live inside at one point (only had one accident and has held it for 10 hours before!). She doesn’t shed (YAY!!!) she’s incredibly loving (to me and my husband), cute and has funny quircks.. but she also has some “baggage” and behavior issues.
1. She’s very protective over her toys,treats, and sometimes her space – has bitten kids lightly.. my 6 year old doesn’t like her that much and is afraid of her.. he’s dramatic but still..I want him to like the dog!
2. She doesn’t come when you call.. she hears you, see’s you, but she chooses not to come. She’s not a big pleaser. More like a cat.
3. She just started humping our pillows AND humped me yesterday! I flipped! She was spayed 3 weeks ago!! It totally grosses me out! Guess she wants to be top dog. No no!
4. Not the easiest to train. Got past “sit” but sometimes she doesn’t
Related Cockapoo Training & Care posts:
I rescue and have had dogs so traumatized yours sounds like a walk in the park – one dog took 8 months to come out of his panic, another 2 years – you should not have made a committment to this dog if you do not have patience to help her overcome her issues. 3 weeks is nothing = not a drop in the bucket considering what this dog may have had to contend with in her life before she got to the shelter.
Did they not tell you about her before you took her?
You are probably her first security and she clings to you and your husband because she finally feels safe and wants to be loved. If you do not have the heart for this, please get some help with her.
Your 6 year old would benefit greatly by learning to behave around a dog, whether he “likes” her or not – not just for the sake of the dog, but for his own in future dealings with any dog.
Please have your children realize not to take her toys or treats = that’s no big deal, she will get over it, but she’s just become part of your family and it would help your kids develop empathy if you explained that “Muffy” or whatever, has had a hard life and they need to be kind to her and help her overcome her fears and issues. She may never have had toys or treats and fears losing them – explain that to your kids instead of blaming the dog.
As to her not coming when you call – group obedience classes would help with that – have your kids go too, it is fun, socializes the dog and helps you learn to train her.
If she was spayed 3 weeks ago, she still has hormones in her system, will for a couple of months, besides which, humping is a sign of trying to dominate for security (her fear of rejection again), not sexual.
That she sits already is a good sign, she wants to please you – but 3 weeks is hardly enough time for anything. It is great that she loves you and your husband – many rescue dogs will cling only to one person.
Please get a book on dogs – you seem to have many misconceptions but there are great books out there to help “Dogs for Dummies”, silly title, but great book, very informative and fun to read.
Please have some patience here with this poor dog – that you rescued is wonderful, but realize that you need to follow through with giving this dog security and love – it certainly cannot be done in 3 weeks, or 3 months. Dogs are living creatures who feel pain, fear, and love – they are not “things” to throw out and replace if they do not come perfect and to your somewhat unrealistic expectations.
The biggest problem you have is the possibility of biting – and that is one reason my rescue never adopts to families with small children. You will have to monitor the situation when the dog and your kids are interacting – and teach the dog not to snap – but, above all, teach your kids to treat your dog – and any dog – with respect, for their own good as well as the dogs.
Good luck, please do what needs doing now, get your kids and the dog to group obedience, Petco schedules them or you can ask your vet for a reference to a good trainer who give them. It is not expensive, a lot of fun for the owner and the dog – and it is very helpful for all.
RAE, 33 years in rescue and you have “no tolerance for biting”?????
You scare me – how many dogs have been put down because you deem them biters – and claim to know a dog’s personality after just a couple of weeks???
All dogs bite – all of them – given the right situation – that does not make them biters.
The key is to not push a dog to the point where he can only flee or bite – and that is what rescue does – bring a dog out of that mindset of flee or bite.
I cannot believe you rescue dogs with that attitude – it is indefensible. You need to learn about rehabilitating dogs instead of making snap judgements about perfectly normal, if desperate, behavior. I have had dogs bite out of blind panic, fear, trauma, and after working with them, they are wonderful pets in good families (I keep in touch with all my ex fosters after they are adopted) – because they have found love and trust again.
For a rescue person to make such a statement about “biters” is unconscienable.
She sounds like she has some dominance issues. I have a pushy dog and I like the Nothing in Life for Free training. Basically, she gets nothing from you without obedience. She has to sit before you set her food down. Sit before you connect her leash and/or open the door. Sit before she’s given a treat or her toys. It sounds harsh (and like its a pain), but it really works. She’ll learn that she has to do something for everything she wants AND she’ll learn your (and everyone in your family) is the boss. Just by doing these little things – she gives up control of you.
There’s lots about this on the web. It really, really works. At first – she won’t do it. But then she’ll get hungry and you’ll see – she’ll sit.
This dog needs your time and love. It is going to be a long road to travel but she is worth it. When you adopted her you were saying you had the time and patience to train her. It will take a while but please don’t give up on her that easy. Make sure you teach your kid how to tell the dog what to do. My dog wanted the top dog spot at first and we had to teach our three, five and seven year old how to tell the dog sit, wait, and also we had the kids give the dog all of his food for the first two months. This teaches the dog that they provide for him so they are the boss not him. He stopped humping after he got that he was to listen to everyone around him. About the not listening to you, I have had my dog since August 2007 and he still has trouble coming when we say. We had to change the word, you see when a dog is told to come and then beat he does not come the next time. He would have to be crazy to come again when he knows he got beat for it before. We changed to word and he listens better. The new word to the dog means treat and loves. About the toys, we took his toys away when ever he got grouchy. The kids got to play with his stuff and he had to share. He is over this now. Three weeks to teach sit is not that long, my dog still has to have reminders, like saying it more loud. He usually sits when you say but sometimes he forgets or tests me and I just say it louder and look right at him and then he sits right down. And lay down is one I still have not gotten him to do. He can do most everything else.
So I have had my dog for 7 months and I still work with him daily. I won’t say he was the best dog in the beginning and I wonder what I had gotten into, but today I would not give him up for anything. He is the best dog I have ever had. Hes my boy.
After only 3 weeks, this dog is barely beginning to get used to her new home and family. Hardly the time to be giving up on a dog. Why not take her to obedience classes so someone can teach you how to train her. Training any dog is an on-going procedure.
Since you have a 6 year old and she’s being protective of her stuff, you really need someone who’s able to read her body language to show you how to handle her.
She needs some time, patience and training.
don’t give up. it’s only been 3 weeks. dogs are lifelong commitments. i have had friends who adopted dogs from the shelter who were abused. yes they were protective but with unconditional love and support they learned to trust again and opened up. just give her time and she’ll open. up. give her time to trust you and training doesn’t happen overnight either. my dogs dont’ always come when i tell them to. they sit there and stare at me like just like your dog BUT they are learning. eventually one day they will come on command but it’s going to take time. i’m sure once she gets trained and opens up your son will love her
if you are totally drained and at your pit try getting a personal dog trainer. like the “dog whisperer”.
and when you adopt don’t they ask you if you are ready for the unexpected medical expenses? dogs aren’t cheap in the first place. just like kids and you should have known being that you have one kid yourself. they are just as expensive. 55 dollars to make one vet visit etc. please be kind. dogs are just a different type of people than you. they feel pain and have minds of their own.
oh my dogs i’ve had for 3 weeks as well… but patience was the key.
Sounds to me like this is your first pet of any kind.
It sounds like you just need to give her a little more time.
1. Would your six year old be interested in helping train her? This could build a relationship between the two of them! There are tons of websites and books that you can use to train from and if you work on it everyday (just like going to school) she WILL learn. The light biting, she’s probably just playing, but if you don’t want her doing that at all, have your kids squeal and pull away quickly (just like a pup would do if it was hurt) and that should help. As for her being protective, you’ve only had her three weeks, she’s still learning to trust you.
2. Once again, this will come with time, keep some treats in your pocket (you can line it with a baggie if you want) and when you call her and she doesn’t come, pull out the treat and call her again. Use the treat all the time for about a week, then just give it to her some of the time. She’ll get it. “More like a cat.” My dog is very feline in her temerment, sometimes she wants it to be her way or the highway. When she acts like that I lower my voice and sound as angry as possible to let her know that I am the one in charge.
3. The humping sadly will come and go, you’ll have this with any dog, male or female, intact or not. I have one that was spayed as a puppy, is now seven and about twice a year when her cycle should be she get’s humpy. Just tell her no and push her off of whatever she’s humping.
4. I feel like I’ve said give it some time as the answer to all of your questions. But give it some time. She has to be worked with to learn things. And you’ll have to be patient with her.
Dogs take time, you have to work at having a good pet. You said you need to wait until Summer to get her into classes, I really would encourage you to find a training book or site to train her. After just a year of training you should have a wonderful, well behaved companion for years to come!
IMO, I would say don’t give up yet. Everything is normal (annoying, but normal), it just requires patience and consistency on your part.
It’s only been three weeks, think about how hard her life was before. If she was abused/neglected, it’s going to take a lot longer than 3 weeks to “fix” her.
Her not coming when called – she probably has attitude, but she also probably doesn’t understand what you want. Humping is a dominance thing – she’s trying to show you (and the pillows) that she’s boss.
Check out obedience classes in your area. I am going to one at Petsmart right now, and I know they have all different levels of classes, and also a house-training class. They will also be able to help you with the aggression issues.
Good luck.
Add: a lot of trainers will do in-house sessions with you one-on-one. Call somebody to do that if you aren’t willing to make the drive.
she is a rescue dog she will have baggage you need to decide if you want to work with her or not we cant tell you what to do,but all i would say is i have a rescue shih tzu who was so badly mistreated he would bite everyone he did not know how to play he was dirty aggressive and got very aggressive around feed time that i was told to get rid of him 6 months on and he is a different dog neutered and trained and played with he has stopped biting and is a joy ,don’t give up is all i will say
Most dogs are very protective of toys, treats, and their space. They are territorial animals. Have you advised your 6-year old not to annoy the dog by trying to take toys or treats away from her? Being a “rescue” dog, naturally, she is going to be shy and unresponsive at first (she needs to know she can trust you, and that may take longer than three weeks). Be kind to her, and let her have her own private time and space, and eventually, she will be friendlier. As for the “humping,” talk to the vet.
3 weeks is not nearly long enough.
My advice would be to have her treated for heart worms, she will be on strict rest for several weeks after her heart worm treatment….be sure you are ready for that.
After she’s given a clean bill of health, consult a pet behaviorist….most dogs can be reformed. You just have to be patient.
Also, if you rescued her from a shelter, did they tell you she had heart worm disease? If there was a reason she could not be treated PRIOR to the adoption, they should still be “footing” the bill for treatment.
The only major issue right now is her “nipping”. All of what you mentioned about should be able to be resolved with a trainer or behaviorist. Right now, her main concern is getting rid of the heart worms, they can be deadly.
Good luck!
if this is your 1st time training a dog you know to call a local trainer or obedience’s school and ask them for some tips. And since the dog is older its going to be harder then it would be to train a puppy. you need to give it more than 3 weeks and work with her as much as you can. the more time you put in to it the better. If she doesn’t come when you call try saying here name and if she looks at you try giving her treat or pet her. when you tell her to sit or anything else you only tell her once and not over and over. tell her once and wait for her to do it . work on one thing thing at a time. good lucky
It usually takes a lot longer than three weeks to train a dog. You can’t really give up just yet.
Personally, I would never get a small dog with a child. But that’s over and done with, so now you have to train the dog AND the child how to act around one another. Make sure your son know the dog isn’t a toy. Make sure the dog knows YOU are boss.
Google “NILIF” .. it’s a good training method and it will help with the territory issues. It did with my little one.
Sounds like you need some formal obedience training.
Everything you’ve mention CAN be remedied. Ask your vet for a suggestion for a good trainer…don’t go to the Petsmart one. Shelter dogs (in my experience) need a little more one on one time.
Your dog CAN be taught…you are asking her to do things she doesn’t understand!! It’s like you going to a new country and having someone yell at you and expect you to understand.
Good for you for adopting and saving a dog, now get her trained!!!
ADDED: Try Bark Busters…there are trainers that will come to your home. There ARE options out there…you just need to find them. Google it.
This poor dog. All dogs do this and it just takes time and they will adjust. Most dogs act this way around their toys and food. It is their property and they don’t like you to mess with it when they are playing with it or eating. Don’t go near her when she is eating. I would get angry too if I was being poked at while I was trying to eat. She is just warning you to stay away at times. It sounds like from what you say she is a loving dog. She was taken to a shelter and sat in a cage. Now she has a loving home and she may go back to that sad cage. What if someone else adopts her and they take her back? Don’t do this please. She may not have had much attention before and that is why she was at the shelter.
Most dogs like to ignore their owners when you call them. She is just being stubborn. But this is no reason to get rid of her. Just be patient and work on it. She hasn’t formed a bond yet with you and she will soon.
As for the humping I dunno. It isn’t hurting anything. When she does it, yell and her and tell her NO. Let her know that is bad.
When you get the money, think about getting someone to help you train her. But it doesnt sound like she has major flaws. She isn’t ripping pillows, peeing and pooping on the floor, making a mess, drawing blood from your son and leaving scars. Maybe your son is a little rough on her and she is afraid. But don’t give her away. This will teach your son if the dog isn’t good enough you can get new ones each time until you find the right one. Now if she bites him and really does damage, then I can totally understand your concern.
Good luck.
There are good training books around- try Susan Garrett , Patricia Gail Burham, even the old Perrsol . Nothing here is not “Baggage” that comes from lack of training. While a class is best If you say you can’t at least try the books.
I mean if a child comes into your class from another school and does not know how to add fractions do you teach him to add fractions or call him hopelessly retarded?
PS I agree with anne b your question rings of excuse – You need to think if you can have ANY pet
Three weeks and you’re ready to give up? Really? REALLY?
Dogs don’t come out of the womb trained and you can’t train them overnight, especially when you don’t know what their life was like before they got to you.
Obedience class. Pronto.
Edit: “I can’t do obedience school yet, the closest one is an hour away and we can’t until the summer. So I have to do something NOW!” Shouldn’t you have thought of this? Any dog you got from a shelter would probably need training.
1. Keep the child away from the dog.
This is vital. Nobody – especially the child – should ever take anything away from this dog. Not until you’ve learned how to do object exchange.
2. There are ways to train the dog to like having things taken away from them. Never, ever force the dog to bite to protect herself. To learn how to train your dog to stop resource guarding, do a Google search for “dog resource guarding”.
3. If you feel that you and your family are not making any progress, get a positive trainer in to help you. You can learn how to encourage the good behaviors that your dog is already doing, and stop unwanted behaviors in a kind way.http://www.dogstardaily.com/
Good luck! Asking for help is great. You will get extremely uneven answers on a site like this. Joining a moderated training group would be a good idea for you. Try:http://pets.groups.yahoo.com/group/spt/
The NILIF suggestions are *super*, and speaking of funny titles, _The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Positive Dog Training_ is excellent. I highly recommend that book.
It has only been 3 weeks since you got the dog and because she was abandoned or a stray it may take a little time for her to adjust to living with all of you. Try and introduce her to newer things slower, and make sure that your kids don’t make any sudden movements around her and are very sweet and gentle. I am going to suggest not giving up because if you take the time to really work with her she may actually turn out to be the best dog you have ever owned.
ROCK ON Rescue Member! I agree with you 100% on the biting. What kind of person works 33 years in rescue and knows nothing about dog behavior?
As far as this dog, I have read some “excuses” here in your question. It almost sounds like you don’t want to spend the time needed to train your dog and make her a great member of the family. If that is truly the case, it would be better to give the dog back now. If you wait until you have a bite incident, you may be signing this poor animal’s death warrant (based on Raes observation).
Maybe a rescue dog wasn’t for you. You have two kids, probably a job, and seem to not want to spend any extra time driving to a place that can help you train your dog.
I work rescue, and I always wish that people would just realize when they aren’t right for a dog and give it back before it is ruined, either by biting someone, or by picking up all kinds of bad behaviors from lack of training.
I would suggest next time you go looking for a dog, that you do all your homework, make sure you have the time to train the dog AND your kids, before you bring home an animal that will live with you for many years.
Breed rescue groups are a great place to get dogs that have had some training and have been assessed for behavior issues. These organizations usually have the dogs in foster care, so the assessments are genuine. You would still be saving a shelter dog if you went this route instead.
Think about it. This dog deserves the attention she needs to be a great family member, and that may not be for you.
The dog isn’t going to be perfect over night. Training takes time and patience, especially when you are rehabilitating a dog. Do you know if the dog had been around kids previously? She may not know how to act around children, therefore is acting out of fear. For now you should be closely supervising your son when he is around the dog and making sure that he does not bother her toys or food until you get her some formal training. She has only been in your home for 3 weeks, she needs time to learn to trust you, she may have been abused at some point in her past so she is probably still a bit wary. Have you tried working with her on a leash with the come command. Leash her, let her walk away then offer a treat and ask her to come, if she doesn’t start towards you give a gentle tug on the leash and gently guide her towards you, once she does come give her the treat and lots of praise. Keep working with her on this and she will learn. Dogs are not immediatly obedient, they have to learn and with some dogs it takes more time and patience than with others. Our first dog would pick up on commands, but will only do them when she wants to, we had to be patient and consistant for her to be “obedient” Our Rottweiler picks up commands right away and continually follows them. It is just that they are different dogs with different personalities. See your vet about the humping he/she should have some suggestions for getting that behaviour stopped.
I highly reccomend getting a professional trainer. Owning a dog is not always easy or convienient, but if you are loyal to this dog and want to make it work, a professional will be able to get you the tips and guidance you need.
she is still pretty young and the fact that you just got her from a shelter 3 weeks ago proves that she probably didn’t have a home or if she did they didn’t train her. So i would say keep her for a little while more and then decide.
Get her some training. all these are very fixable problems. look up NILF training. Giveing up after 3 weeks, wow, poor dog. heart worm positive and all you care baout is how much money it will cost to fix her? Its her LIFE at state.
I have 33 yrs in rescue.
After 2 weeks, you start to see what types of behaviors you’re going to have to deal with. After 4 weeks, you can really see what you’ve got.
The biting would be the end for me – I have no tolerance for biting.
However, different people have different parameters.
Put a 6 ft leash on her and leave it on while she’s in the house and supervised. That way, when you call her to come, you’ve got a “handle” and can easily make her come. Also, you can pull her away from her toys and correct the “humping” behavior more easily.
NO FOOD TOYS – ever. No open food dishes – she eats when YOU decide.
Find an obedience class asap – akc.org lists clubs – go there and look for an obedience club near you. They will offer classes, and will have worked with a lot of rescue dogs. And they will help you.
Edit: For Rescue Member
Biting. This is why your rescue doesn’t adopt to families with small children. It’s simply impossible to predict what’s going to happen.
This is an internet post site. It’s impossible to tell exactly what happened between this dog and the child. Also, without the dog’s background, which the owner doesn’t have, she’ll never know if the dog has issues with children.
Animals are supposed to add to our quality of life, add to our family…. if a child is afraid of a dog, then that’s not happening. I agree that 3 weeks is almost no time at all, but that’s what the owner has to go on – and she needs to hear both positives and negatives.
This is a difficult situation to be in – to decide whether or not to treat and keep the dog after only 3 weeks.
I take only Large dogs that are completely out of control. The worse thing you can do to the poor things is to allow them to bite you – then they think they’ve won, and they only get worse. Placements and follow up are, as you know, extremely critical. And there are instances where the dog MUST be put down – agression towards children is one of those; agression with no apparant trigger is another.
Small dogs are easier – people will put up with far more from a small dog than they can/will from a large dog. Large dogs are simply too fast and too strong, and can do too much damage to take chances with.
Twice, I have taken rescues and turned them into top show dogs – one was extremely agressive and now does therapy work, the other was terrified of everyone and is now a happy Champion house pet.
I think the dog doesn’t fully trust you yet after having her for only 3 weeks. Give it some time to gain trust. Walking is a good way. All of these things you are saying are not really that big of a deal.
1. It’s normal for some dogs to be protective over toys. You just need to let her know that the toy is YOURS and you are letting her play with it. If she misbehaves or shows agression, take it away for a while.
2. Get some treats that she likes. Have some one hold her while you go a few steps away. Show the treat, say come and then have that person let her go. If she comes to you, give her a treat. Just keep practicing that and sure enough you won’t need a treat for her anymore.
3. Humping is just a dominance thing. Once you gain the trust and show you are the dominant one, she will stop. If she humps you, say no and walk into a room and shut the door and leave her for about 1-2 mins. She will then know that doesn’t get her attention. If she continues to do this, just gently grab her and hold her down on the floor and don’t let her get up but once again, be gentle. This will show her you are in charge of the household.
4. Simple training can be hard. Make sure you exercise her before you begin the training. That way she has her attention on you and nothing else because she is some what tired. Once again, it’s just the trust. Get her to trust you and she will do what you tell her. Use treats as an incentive for her good training. Remember, simple things like, sit then lay are easier for dogs. Just keep working on it. She’ll get the clue.
Finally, good for you for rescueing a dog! You probably can’t tell but I guarantee you that your pup is so happy that some one has saved her! Just be patient with her. She has never had to live by rules before so she just needs to adjust! Don’t get rid of her. Just give it time and I promise you, you won’t regret it!
First it is a rescued Cockapoo… she has baggage cause she is a rescue.
Now, for your son and being scared. Have him sit on the floor with some of her fav. toys. He can also have some treats. (now she is not just protecting her toys she is also scared of him and the situation plus him being scared of her (she can read that). You sit with him on the floor. Have him call her. Encouraging her to come to him. Not him to her. Squeek a toy. Get her attention. When she comes, let her. (make sure she has no other toys to go to). When she gets close praise her. Good girl. Dont force her to be with your son. Just praise the coming close. The closer she gets praise her.. good girl it’s ok. Your son is also talking to her.
This will also help with the come issues. She doesnt trust you yet.
You can also sit on the floor with out your son. (she is a small dog). Tapp the floor and call her. I also click my tongue. My cockers are curious and will come to find out what it is. I then praise. I click call and praise when they come. I dont give them treats I want them to come for the attention and praise at first. You want your cockapoo to trust you so praise and attention first as a treat before you start giving her a tastey treat.
As for the humping, that is a dominate thing. My female tried it. I put her on the ground off of me and tell her NO. Humps pillows and other objects and i tell her NO. and take the object away.
4. Until you master getting and keeping her attention and trust any other training you can put on hold except the sit. When she comes to you have her sit. Pet her and praise. This may take a couple of months to get her to TRUST you and your family.
All kids should sit on the floor and let her come to them. The small dogs dont like hands coming at them from above. I dont want you to get discouraged. You can turn her around. Just be patient and consitent. She will be ok if you do.
Also make sure you give her a private place to get away from everyone. It is her space and dont let the kids bother her.
You also should look at getting a trainer to help one on one. It really is a wonderful idea…Ask your VET.
Good luck.
She’s a dominant dog. Is she a solid color cockerspaniel? It’s a common trait of the breed. I would keep her as long as she doesn’t bite. Humping people can be easily corrected. Humping toys, pillows, etc is harder to correct.
Enroll in an obedience class. It will teach you how to effectively give commands and help her understand how to respond to them.
Don’t give up after 3 weeks! With training, she might end up being the best dog you’ve ever had!